Zero

Have you seen the add campaign for Coke Zero? Big bold letters that say something like "REAL TASTE, ZERO SUGAR" and underneath that, different captions: "Then why not action movies with zero romance?" or "Why not a girlfriend with zero headaches?" or (my personal favourite) "Why not two girlfriends with zero jealousy?".

G-E-N-I-U-S! I mean, the way this kind of publicity focuses on us guys! Consider the reasoning behind it: girls are already so freaked about their physical image that they'll always buy low sugar sodas anyway, so you don't have to convince them of anything. They'll buy this Zero stuff even if the add campaign were purposefully trying to alienate them -- which it doesn't really, right? After all, everybody knows that guys hate all that mushy romance crap, and that we'd go out with two or more girls at once if we could. Boys will be boys, ikke sant?

So this campaign is really positive, as it puts the dots on the i's and lets us all know where we stand. Guys like me will feel thankful for the reassurance and sense of belonging provided: that i can't get my mind off my girlfriend's boobies while she's concentrating on the latest chick-flick, or that i want to hump her and her best friend too (possibly together), does not make me a freak... That's what we men do! ("Besides, man, i wouldn't be cheating. I do love them both!"). As a token of our gratitude, boys and men everywhere will buy Coke Zero. Girls and women will chug Zero down, too, while dreaming of becoming slim enough to have the possibility of being two-timed jealouslessly.

Real doo-doo, Zero sense.