Untempered tempers

Another stiff, stuffed, staff meeting today, and sparks flew, again. Why can't we communicate?

I can't talk about others, but i'm always careful not too say too much or too little. Since i can't make up my mind about what would contribute to any of these conditions, i sometimes try not to say anything. Which means i most often err on the too-little side. But at other times i go for it, and then fear i've said to much, again.

Boris would say that i'm afraid of conflict. Amy would have said the same thing, back in MN. She would have added that, in her opinion, it was that fear which made me become passive-aggressive (which i was not!; when i knew her, Amy had ended all of her friendships because she thought her friends were passive aggressive. No wonder; she was prodding people all the time).

My answer would be that one must know which battles to fight, and how to say things. Not to sound dramatic, but i have other things going on in my life right now. Have a flu right now (yes ladies and gentlemen, that's what the cold turned into), and when i don't i have my students, my friends not to lose touch with, classes, the book, this screen, my social interactions (grueling experience much of the time), movies and books.

Now i've scared myself. It really doesn't sound like i'm fighting any battles. Well, i fought for years just to continue to stay alive (i'm in full-blown drama-queen land now, i know).

(Much beyond)